July 20

So I don’t know if anyone has started a countdown yet, but we officially have 7 days left of SSP. It is OD week, which is synonymous with frustration, anxiety, frustration, dread, and more frustration. However, after all this, we will be official SSP Alumni and proceeding on with our unique lives, looking back at this educational experience of a lifetime.

Throughout the past weeks, I have learned a lot about science, staying away from home, and most importantly, myself. In particular, I learned that stupidity is inevitable in science (my character doesn’t help). Our academic director, Dr. Rengstorf, who has a passionate lust for his telescope in Indiana and an awesome right sideburn (that’s my favorite one), told us about how someone dropped out of graduate school because science made her feel stupid. If you can’t deal with feeling stupid most of the times (not understanding things at first or getting frustrated with hours of debugging), then science is probably not right for you.

In order to illustrate this feeling, I have composed a list of 10 things that I have felt stupid about in SSP.

  1. If your code doesn’t work for the test cases… the test cases are likely wrong
  2. If your code does work for the test cases… your code will eventually fail for the fourth, imperative one on your OD.
  3. If you see a random star appear while taking light series… don’t believe Neha when she tells you it’s a star formation.
  4. If you think your asteroid’s semi-major axis is 20+ AU… you are wrong and it is out of your solar system.
  5. If your teammate hurt her foot… telling her that yours does too won’t make her feel better.
  6. If you have a sprained ankle… don’t dance and play soccer. (Trust me.)
  7. If you have a significant other… telling your classmates repeatedly will piss them off.
  8. If you have explosives in your trunk… sitting in the front seat won’t save you (regardless if you can prove it with ε-δ).
  9. If you don’t do your laundry… your SSP wife won’t do it for you (or maintain her “meal plan”) and will divorce you.
  10. If Rebecca tells you to take a picture of your star… she means to do it with the telescope and not with your phone on TheSkyX.

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This is a picture from my phone that thinks it’s a telescope.

I wanted to end this blogpost with a method that I have recently discovered, through experimentation, of how to remove “OD Stress.” While many of you may think it’s sleep, you’d be surprise when I tell you that the answer lies in a $30 6”x 6” majestic alpaca named Fu-Fee. I have found a way to ameliorate all pain in this world through this glorious animal. It was purchased by no other than Lucy herself, who has become scarred by my propensity towards the animal. Its wool is made from actual alpaca wool and is softer than any cloud in the universe. If one finds him or herself to come across Fu-Fee, one cannot resist the temptation of grabbing Fu-Fee and caressing his softness. If you close your eyes, you can feel the majestic alpaca purr into your chest and all your stress leaving your body. If you haven’t removed your stress yet, or just want to experience the magical experience of a lifetime, then stop by the downstairs computer lab and grab (with special care) Fu-Fee. You’ll thank me later 😉

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IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH, FU-FEE MAY WRITE YOUR OD FOR YOU!

-Arian

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